Very Strange Inventions
Did you ever notice the ads on television which ask you to register your invention with their company? Every once in a while, they pop up on something I am watching and it reminds me of a guy who claimed he did this with one of the companies and they stole his invention. I don’t know if it was true, but it is certainly possible. I knew someone when I was a teenager who had multiple inventions and patents and to keep himself busy, he purchased a candy store. He was very unassuming. In the beginning we all thought he was just another small store owner, but when I got to know him, he took a liking to me and would sometimes show me his patent drawings and his formidable rare stamp collection.
Some of the inventions which come out seem crazy. They make you wonder who would ever manufacture them, because they don’t seem to be profitable. The Fliz. The Fliz was a two wheeled bike which had a frame that went over your shoulders. There were no pedals or propulsion mechanism. For some crazy reason the inventor and whoever backed him thought this was a good idea. You basically walked the bike because without pedals and a seat what else could you do? A harness was fitted to your body and the bike, the purpose of it is beyond me, as a matter of fact the entire purpose of the Fliz is beyond me.
A special pair of jeans was invented and I can’t think of anything which would be more annoying than the jeans. I am saying that because the jeans were equipped to vibrate every time your cell phone rang. How nuts is that? Can you imagine being with a group of people and they begin to vibrate? There would need to be a lot of explaining about that. These are not the only strange pair of jeans. Another pair had a keyboard printed across the lap of the jeans. The keyboard had an integrated speaker and mouse. The pants look very strange, and I know I wouldn’t wear them, would you?
One very bizarre invention, which is even more bizarre than the ones above just seem to be wrong. Do you have a baby who like to crawl across the room because he or she hasn’t learned to walk? The inventors of this device think that is a waste of motion and have invented a type of mop which can be attached to the baby so it can clean the floor as it goes. Talk about child labor.
Are people eating your lunch from the refrigerator at work? This seems to be a problem in some places. You can solve this problem according to an inventor of the mold colored sandwich bags. The bag has what looks like mold and when you put a sandwich into it, the sandwich looks very unappetizing. I think after one or two times the sandwich thief would catch on.
Are you a beautiful woman who wants to make herself unattractive to stop the ogling at the beach? You can do it by turning yourself into a very undesirable woman by putting on a pair of hairy stockings. The stockings make your legs look like a jungle of black hair guaranteed to turn off those ogling men, but probably attract many unkind words.
One invention that probably nobody would have liked was the Airstick. They are said to make your Apple Airpods almost impossible to lose. The problem as I see it, since they are a long stick which attaches to the Airpods, you look kind of stupid wearing them. Its almost like horns are growing out of your ears and the sticks are so long they stretch to your chin.
Sometime you just have to wonder why anyone would think their invention would sell. The one in particular I am talking about is a plastic cup with a straw. So far so good. The straw has a holder on it which you place your cell phone in so it will hold it for you while you drink so you can continue to watch the screen. This thing looked tremendously unbalanced.
Did you ever feel the need for a fork that attaches to your finger? Someone thought this was a good idea and invented the Finger Fork. The entire purpose of this invention evades me. What is wrong with a normal fork and how does this improve anything?
Put that hamster to work. If you can make your baby clean the floor why not make your hamster also work for you? Want to save on electricity? That is one of the reasons the Hamster Shredder was invented. No, it does not shred hamsters, it is a paper shredder which is powered by the little creature running on his wheel. It has very limited use however since the paper you shred goes into the hamster cage for the hamster to do his thing on.
Are you a busy housewife and wish you could have some way of drinking a hot drink while ironing and not have to stop? Perhaps the Coffee Mug iron is the thing you need. As the name suggests it is an iron which also holds coffee for that occasional sip. I would think you should be very careful if you don’t want a hot iron on your face.
Are you tired of dirt getting into your banana? That must be a big problem since an answer to that problem is now available, it is a plastic case for one banana. Problem solved.
Did you ever work in a place where it is inappropriate to drink on the job? Most of us have, but there is an answer to this age old problem and it is the flask tie. The tie has a hidden bladder inside it which you can carry your favorite drink in undetected. When you want a sip there is a hidden straw.
Okay, I think I have found the craziest invention which no one would want and it is the head mounted toilet paper dispenser. You would have thought the inventor might have said to himself NO ONE IS GOING TO WEAR THIS!!! Apparently, he didn’t and believed soon hordes of people would be walking around with rolls of toilet paper on their heads. If they would have done this during the toilet paper shortage, they might have gotten mugged.
You just have to wonder how the inventors who made these things could have ever thought they would sell.